This song has been bugging me for a long time. It is so dark and sad, but mesmerizing in a strange sort of way.
The structure of the song is difficult because of it's simplicity. Most sentences have 2-4 words in them (in their original language), and the sentences don't really connect with one another grammatically. Images come through mangled and incomplete, but very intense. I am trying to replicate the same feeling in English if I can.
The original in Russian:
First draft of my version:
The sprawling city veins,
Unlit and empty trains,
Not start and not the end,
Not water, not the land.
The steps of this cold war,
The beauty and the gore,
All things she didn't know,
Oh, where did it go?
No one writes to the Colonel
No one waits for the Colonel
The cross-hairs of his eyes
Are on the burning skies
Above the empty screen
Of worlds she's never seen.
Exploding silver trains
Collapsing city veins,
All things she didn't know,
Oh, where did it go?
No one writes to the Colonel
No one waits for the Colonel
The structure of the song is difficult because of it's simplicity. Most sentences have 2-4 words in them (in their original language), and the sentences don't really connect with one another grammatically. Images come through mangled and incomplete, but very intense. I am trying to replicate the same feeling in English if I can.
No one writes to the Colonel (lyrics and vocals - Russian rock band BI-2; clip from the movie Brother-2 (Брат-2))
The original in Russian:
First draft of my version:
The sprawling city veins,
Unlit and empty trains,
Not start and not the end,
Not water, not the land.
The steps of this cold war,
The beauty and the gore,
All things she didn't know,
Oh, where did it go?
No one writes to the Colonel
No one waits for the Colonel
The cross-hairs of his eyes
Are on the burning skies
Above the empty screen
Of worlds she's never seen.
Exploding silver trains
Collapsing city veins,
All things she didn't know,
Oh, where did it go?
No one writes to the Colonel
No one waits for the Colonel
My husband reviewed the song and said the verbiage was ok, but the references to the silver trains and city veins could be taken in some drug-use related context. I didn't know that, and that is certainly not something I want, so I will need to put some more work into the second part of the song.
ReplyDeleteAnd I already decided on my next "victim." I think I will do the "Fallen Angel" by Nautilius. I have forgotten how cool that song was. It used to be one of my favorites.