Ветром Стать - To become the wind - REVISION #2

I tried singing my latest revision, but the lengths of some sentences make it hard to match the beat. I am taking a break from my GRE studies, so it is a perfect time to clean up some of the lines.

Here is the latest version so far. Closer to the beat.

When I die, I will become the Wind

And live right near you in a tree

And when you die, you will be the Sun

And, once again, you will rise above me.

Like Autumn wind, I will be near,

Fall at your feet, like morning dew

When I whisper, can you hear?

"My Sun, where are you? My Sun, where are you?"

Chorus:

But don't hurry yet to become the Sun

I will sing songs to you until dawn,

With the very air I will be one,
As soon as I am the Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes off your face,

Your shiny smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

As soon as I am the Wind.

When I die, I will become the Breeze,

Fall on the ground like the snow.

I will touch your lovely face with ease,

You'll be my only joy, you know?

And when you die, you will be the Sun

And melt my snows like my fears

And when the flowers spring on the lawns

My icicles will turn into tears.

Chorus:

But don't hurry yet to become the Sun

I will sing songs to you until dawn,

With the very air I will be one,
As soon as I am the Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes off your face,

Your shiny smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

As soon as I am the Wind.

But don't hurry yet to become the Sun

I will sing songs to you until dawn,

With the very air I will be one,
As soon as I am the Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes off your face,

Your shiny smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

As soon as I am the Wind.