Дождь (МакСим) / Rain (Maksim) - my lyrics

This one was a pain to translate because, as it turned out, there is not really a rhyme to most of the lines, but they were in sync somehow nevertheless. The only rhymes that were there were very short ones - very hard to imitate in English. Well, I did my best for now. I still have studies to do tonight, so this will have to do for now.

My version of the "Rain"

My January sky, cold and rainy dreams -

You are the only one who knows.

No place to go in this rain.

I cannot explain

How tired is this Sun of beating...

Chorus:

And I never knew how I loved rain.

The gray colors of the skies -

This is the color of your hair and your eyes,

This is a gray name: Rain.

If I could break the spell

So that I could tell

How much longer I have to breathe.

All my dreams, big and small,

I would give up all

For a simple "Hey I miss you!"

Chorus:

And I never knew how I loved rain.

The gray color of the skies -

This is the color of your hair and your eyes,

This is a gray name: Rain.

And I never knew...

The gray color...

And I never knew....

It took my hand again,

Washed away the pain,

This is the kiss of the rain.

Faces in the crowd disappear,

So why are you still here?

You will get cold, so get inside, my dear...

Chorus:

And I never knew how I loved rain.

The gray color of the skies -

This is the color of your hair and your eyes,

This is a gray name: Rain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le5Qhe4RDI4

Дождь (МакСим) / Rain (Maksim)

Found this song yesterday, and I have been humming it ever since. Makes me think of Mom...

Here are the lyrics in Russian:

Про небо в январе, знаешь только ты
Про мои сны, знаешь cтолько...
Мне некуда бежать
Не могу сказать, как устало солнце биться.

Привев:
А я и не знала, как люблю дождь
Туман в городе моём серый
И он цвета глаз твоих, цвета волос
И имя серое твоё дождь.

Встречь, знать бы по часам
Видеть по рукам, сколько мне дышать,
Так раз и навсегда, всё бы отдала
За простое "я скучаю"...

Припев.

А я и не знала...
Туман в городе моём..
А я и не знала...

Взяв за руку c собой, краску смыл водой
Так целует дождь,
Взгляд прочь бегущих лиц
Что же ты стоишь, заболеешь прячься слышишь...


Word-for-word translation:

About the sky in January, you are the only one who knows.
About the dreams you know so much.
I have no place to run,
I cannot tell you how much this sun is tired of beating...

Chorus:
I didn't even know how much I loved rain,
The fog in my gray city.
It is the color of your eyes, color of your hair,
It is your gray name, Rain.

How many meetings, if I could read the watch,
If I could read the hands, how much longer to breathe.
Once and for all, I could give up all
For a simple "I miss you"

Chorus:
I didn't even know how much I loved rain,
The fog in my gray city -
It is the color of your eyes, color of your hair,
It is your gray name, Rain.


And I didn't even know...
The fog in my city...
And I didn't even know...


It took my hand, washed away my make-up,
This is the kiss of the rain.
The eyes of the faces running by,
So, why are you standing there, you will get cold, go hide, you hear me?

Chorus:
I didn't even know how much I loved rain,
The fog in my gray city.
It is the color of your eyes, color of your hair,
It is your gray name, Rain.


My "makes sense in English" translation:

You are the only one who knows about the sky in January.
You know so much about my dreams.
I have no place to run,
I cannot even tell you how much this sun is tired of beating...

Chorus:
I didn't even know how much I loved rain...
The fog in my gray city-
It is the color of your eyes, color of your hair,
It is your gray name, Rain.

If only I could tell by the watch, how many more meetings we have,
If only I could read the hands to see how much longer I have to breathe.
Once and for all, I could give up everything
For a simple "I miss you"

Chorus:
I didn't even know how much I loved rain...
The fog in my gray city -
It is the color of your eyes, color of your hair,
It is your gray name, Rain.


And I didn't even know...
The fog in my city...
And I didn't even know...


It took my hand and washed off my make-up -
This is the kiss of the rain.
The eyes of different faces are running by,
So, why are you standing there? You will get cold, go inside, you hear me?

Chorus:
I didn't even know how much I loved rain...
The fog in my gray city -
It is the color of your eyes, color of your hair,
It is your gray name, Rain.

Город, Которого Нет (Игорь Корнелюк) / The City, That Doesn't Exist (Igor Kornelyuk) - My first recording

Just cleaning up the song a bit...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y12C3WhI1Jo

Silence and night are with me again,

Snow keeps falling down or a freezing rain,

But my hope, like my star, still persists -

Far away I see city that doesn't exist.

City where a wayfarer can find a place:

Someone waits for him, someone knows his face...

This is why through the sharp and freezing mist

I keep walking to the city that doesn't exist.

There my hearth fire is kept alive,

A timeless symbol lost today.

This city is a step away -

A step that is longer than my life.

Maybe I will lose my path again,

My wasted years are like drops of rain.

But my hope, like my star, still persists -

I will find this city that doesn't exist.

There my hearth fire is kept alive,

A timeless symbol lost today.

This city is a step away -

A step that is longer than my life.

Город, Которого Нет (Игорь Корнелюк) / The City, That Doesn't Exist (Igor Kornelyuk) - My first recording

I just found an awesome program that allows me to simply record any sound from the mic, and make reasonably-sized files in the process:
http://www.nbxsoft.com/sound-recorder.php


Now the only problem is that Blogger won't allow me to post just an audio file here - only a video file, which requires a whole new production experience...

The Moveee program that I have here turned out to be useless (I needed to time my music to fit the pictures, not the other way around) and I could not make a black empty background.

Windows Movie Maker was decent, as long as I don't need to add karaoke-style subtitles (that was a chore with an awkward outcome!).

After all the trouble with the MovieMaker, I am wondering if it would be easier just to upload the audio files to someplace online, like the Help menu suggested... 

Anyhow, here is my first test with the MovieMaker. Wow! My first real video...

Город, Которого Нет (Игорь Корнелюк) / The City, That Doesn't Exist (Igor Kornelyuk)

It has been a while since I really wanted to do a song.... But this one keeps bugging me.

===============

Город, Которого Нет (Игорь Корнелюк) / The City, That Doesn't Exist (Igor Kornelyuk)

Russian version

Ночь и тишина, данная навек
Дождь, а может быть падает снег
Все равно бесконечной надеждой согрет
Я вдали вижу город, которого нет...

Где легко найти страннику приют,
Где наверняка помнят и ждут,
День за днем, то теряя, то путая след,
Я иду в этот город, которого нет

Там для меня горит очаг,
Как вечный знак забытых истин,
Мне до него - последний шаг,
И этот шаг длиннее жизни...

Кто ответит мне, что судьбой дано,
Пусть об этом знать не суждено,
Может быть, за порогом растраченных лет
Я найду этот город, которого нет...

Там для меня горит очаг,
Как вечный знак забытых истин,
Мне до него - последний шаг,
И этот шаг длиннее жизни...


Word-for-word translation

Night and silence are given forever,
It is raining, or maybe it is snowing.
Nevertheless, endless hope keeps me warm.
In the distance I see the city, that doesn't exist

Where a traveler will easily find a place,
Where they of course still remember and wait.
Day after day, always losing the path,
I am walking toward the city that doesn't exist

Where there is a small fire is being kept for me,
Like a timeless symbol of forgotten truth.
That city is only a step away,
But that step has been longer than life.

Who will tell me, what the fate has in store for me,
Maybe I will never find out.
Maybe, beyond the door of my wasted years
I will find that city, which doesn't exist.


Where there is a small fire is being kept for me,
Like a timeless symbol of forgotten truth.
That city is only a step away,
But that step has been longer than life.


My re-worked version:

Silence and night are with me again,

Snow keeps falling down, or a freezing rain,

But my hope like a star still persists -

Far away I see city, that doesn't exist.

City, where a wayfarer can find a place,

Someone who waits for him, who knows his face;

This is why through the sharp and freezing mist

I keep walking to the city that doesn't exist.

There a hearth fire is kept alive,

A timeless symbol lost today.

This city is a step away -

A step that is longer, than my life.

Maybe I will lose my path again,

My wasted years like drops of rain.

But my hope like a star still persists -

I will find this city that doesn't exist.

There a hearth fire is kept alive,

A timeless symbol lost today.

This city is a step away -

A step that is longer, than my life.

To Cling to the Air, BI-2 / Держаться за Воздух - 1st draft

This song turned out to be a lot of fun to translate, but, unfortunately, the translation is not as close as I would like it to see yet. Plus, some lines do not fit into the beat nicely. So, some cleanup to do later. In the meantime, I will return to my GRE studies and try to kick some butt on Logical and Quantitative Reasoning exercises.

TO CLING TO THE AIR

1.

Shutting off the light.

Forever slips away

The fluid terrain

Of this alien sun.

A whole life for a flight - 

A fair price to pay.

From myriads of planes

I've chosen this one.

Chorus:

To cling to the air,

To the brilliant glare...

The coordinate strands

To touch with my hands

To cling to the air,

To the brilliant glare...

In this vacuous sea

Just to breathe, you and me...

2.

My foe in the mirror

Is with me to the end.

The wind gusts undulate

The vaults of this sky.

This step is always near,

One long step to descend.

I follow my fate,

My freedom to try...

Chorus:

To cling to the air,

To the brilliant glare...

The coordinate strands

To touch with my hands

To cling to the air,

To the brilliant glare...

In this vacuous sea

Just to breathe, you and me...

To cling to the air,

To the brilliant glare...

The coordinate strands

To touch with my hands

To cling to the air,

To the brilliant glare...

In this vacuous sea

Just to breathe, you and me...

To hold on to the air, BI-2 / Держаться за Воздух, БИ-2

My new victim. It is one of my old favorites of BI-2.

в окнах гаснет свет
как будто навсегда
уходит из под ног
чужая планета

полцарства за билет
оплачено сполна
из тысячи дорог
я выбираю эту

припев:
держаться за воздух,
за острые звёзды
огромного неба
коснуться рукой
держаться за воздух,
за острые звёзды
и там над землёй 
дышать им с тобой

мой зеркальный враг
мне верен до конца
и на ветру дрожат
воздушные своды

как трудно сделать шаг
ещё сложнее два
дорога наугад
я выбрал свободу

My word-for-word translation:

The lights go out in the windows
As if this foreign planet
Is forever slipping
From underneath my feet

Half a kingdom for the ticket,
All paid in full.
From thousands of paths,
I am choosing this one.

Chorus:
To hold on to the air,
And on to the sharp stars,
To touch the sky with my hand.

To hold on to the air,
And on to the sharp stars,
And there, high above,
Just to breathe together with you.


My enemy in the mirrow
Is faithful till the end,
And the airy vaults
Are undulating in the wind.
How hard it is to make a step,
And even harder is to make two...
This is a road traveled by touch,
And I am choosing this freedom....

Agency "Selebration" (Агенство Праздник)

Just found an amazing resource, the site called Агенство Праздник, http://www.agentstvo-prazdnik.ru/, they have "minus-vocals" (music minus vocals) of excellent quality for a wide variety of Russian groups. They have a few BI-2 song, which makes me soooo happy.... I found my "My Joy" there, as well as "Призрачная Встречная" and "Полковник."

I can't wait to practice. I am also thinking about contacting the guys who are doing the minus-vocals on that page, and asking them if they could help me out with a couple of songs that I want to try.

My Joy - BI-2 / Счастье Мое, БИ-2 - Redone, First draft

I finished  the first draft in a couple of hours last night. It came to be out a lot further from the original text that I would like to see, so I will need to keep scratching my head for a bit to find a way to work at least the best parts of the discarded original into the English version.

My Joy (BI-2)

1. Bright flames become ashes,

2. Day into night crashes,

3. I watch through my eyelashes.

4. Only the wind knew

5. All that was once true

6. My joy, where are you?

7.  Crystals are like tears

8. And after all the years

9. What does my heart fears?

10. Night is almost through

11. Ending the world I knew.

12. My joy, where are you?

13. And I again try

14. Fly like you could fly

15. Right to the edge of the skies.

16. Night is almost through

17. Ending the world I knew

18. My joy, where are you?

My... joy... my... joy... my... my... my.... joy...

My... joy... my... joy... my... my... my.... joy...

My... joy... my... joy...

My Joy - BI-2 / Счастье Мое, БИ-2 - video, ru version

My husband seems to like the tune to the "Счастье мое" song by BI-2, he keeps whistling it. I promised him I would translate the song for him.

This is the Russian version:

Если огонь - пепел,
Тень - это часть света,
Счастье мое - где ты?
Только в руках - ветер,
Было - теперь нету,
Счастье мое, где ты?

И как хрусталь слезы,
Если не ты - кто же
Песню допеть сможет?
Бьется в окно ветер,
Ночь - как конец света,
Счасть мое, где ты?

И за тобой следом,
Где никогда не был,
Между землей и небом...
Бьется в окно ветер,
Ночь - как конец света,
Счастье мое - где ты?



My "word for word" translation:

If there is fire, there are ashes,

Shadow is a part of light,

My joy, where are you?

Only the wind in my hands,

There was, and now there is not,

My joy, where are you?

And the tears are like crystals.

Who else, if not you

Will be able to finish this song?

The wind is shaking the windows.

This night - is like the end of days,

My joys, where are you?

And running after you

To where I have never been before,

Between the Earth and the sky.

The wind is shaking the windows.

This night - is like the end of days,

My joys, where are you?

My joy,

My joy... my joy... my joy... my joy.... my joy....

My joy... my joy... my joy... my joy.... my joy....

My... joy....

My... joy...

The un-air raid alerts / Безвоздушная тревога - 2nd revision

Just a few touch-ups for now.

1. The Fates once again are changing the scripts -

2. What has been sown shall now be reaped.

3. Casting the dice are a dog and a lion.

4. The rings in the old chains are starting to fasten

5. Hiding the curse under the luster.

6. I have been seized by Juerushaliam....

Chorus:

C1. Easy and slow,

C2. Messier Captain of my prodigal soul,

C3. While this city sings the strange lullabies

C4. Of un-air raid alerts.

C5. Go with the flow,

C6. Don't surrender, do not sell yourself low.

C7. Flaring up, raining down from the skies

C8. The un-air raid alerts.

7. The sand in the glass runs faster and faster.

8. Best of intentions have been a disaster.

9. Trouble again in the heavenly shore.

10. Steady Tin Soldier is slumped in the chair.

11. He is surrounded; he is sur-squared.

12. Time to get up and finish this war.

Chorus:

C1. Steady and slow,

C2. Messier Captain of my prodigal soul,

C3. While this city sings the strange lullabies

C4. Of un-air raid alerts.

C5. Go with the flow,

C6. Don't surrender, do not sell yourself low.

C7. Flaring up, raining down from the skies

C8. The un-air raid alerts.

The un-air raid alerts / Безвоздушная тревога

I talked to my honey, and he was originally not very impressed with the song.

He didn't like the idea of the made-up words ("un-air raid" and "sur-squared"), and had trouble understanding them even after I tried to explain several times. He also didn't understand the reference to the dog and the lion. He said he never heard of it, it is not part of the Bible that is usually read or quoted. That is very sad, indeed, as it is an interesting reference that I hoped would be well understood by the audience.

He and I also tried to find, unsuccessfully for now, a replacement for the word "seized" (by Jerushaliam), since the word "seized" has a very specific connotation that makes that sentence harder to understand than it already is.

However, when he listened to the song, he said he liked it a bit better. I guess the melody provides a nice enough background to compensate for the complexity of the meanings.

The un-air raid alarms / Безвоздушная тревога - My version #1

1. The Fates once again are changing the scripts -

2. What have been sown shall now be reaped.

3. Casting the dice are a dog and a lion.

4. The rings of old chains are starting to fasten

5. Hiding the curse under the luster.

6. I have been seized by Juerushaliam....

Chorus:

C1. Stay in the row,

C2. Messier Captain of my prodigal soul,

C3. While the city sings the strange lullaby

C4. Of un-air raid alerts.

C5. Go with the flow,

C6. Don't surrender, do not sell yourself low.

C7. Flaring up, raining down from the sky

C8. The un-air raid alerts.

7. The sand in the glass runs faster and faster.

8. Best of intentions have been a disaster.

9. Trouble again in the heavenly shore.

10. Steady Tin Soldier is slumped in the chair.

11. He is surrounded; he is sur-squared.

12. Time to get up and finish this war.

Chorus:

C1. Stay in the row,

C2. Messier Captain of my prodigal soul,

C3. While the city sings the strange lullaby

C4. Of un-air raid alerts.

C5. Go with the flow,

C6. Don't surrender, do not sell yourself low.

C7. Flaring up, raining down from the sky

C8. The un-air raid alerts.

I have to consult with my husband about lines #4, 9, C1, C4, and C6.

The chorus gave me the most trouble, obviously, because of the major points that I wanted to keep about The Steady Tin Soldier being "sur-squared"  and the "un-air raid" sirens don't really land themselves to easy manipulations.

So, i will be tinker some more later.

Yerushaláyim

Just found a possible Hebrew pronunciation of "Jerusalem." Apparently, there are two ways to pronounce that name, and one of them appears in a song here:
http://www.hebrewsongs.com/?SongID=2541 

They sing "Lashanah haba'ah Biy'rushalaim"

However, it looks like the B in front of "Iy'rushalaim" is the prefix of some kind to indicate "in Jerusalem."

I went to Ask.com, and they, just like the Wiki, state that Hebrew pronunciation is "Yerushaláyim" (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080713093034AAjvMfU) . The readers' comments in that section seem to confirm the spelling, but the stress that I hear being placed on the "Je-rOO-ShalaYIm" in the song is said to be placed just on the JerOO portion of the name.... I will go ahead with the song's spelling "Iy'rushalaim" and emphasis for now.

Un-aerial alert, BI-2 / Безвоздушная Тревога, БИ-2 - my next project

Here is my next victim. I can see right away that working with the chorus part will be difficult, since the original sentences are short, and are very specific in their meaning.

Вновь у судьбы меняются планы
С неба вернулся брошенный камень
Было одним, стало другим.

В долгой цепи замыкаются звенья
Каждый звонок, как состав преступленья
Держит меня Иерусалим.

Ровно дыши,
Капитан моей распущенной души

В этом городе так странно звучит 

Безвоздушная тревога

Жить не спеши,

Не сдавайся, не меняй на гроши

Разгорится и погаснет в ночи

Безвоздушная тревога

В этой картине сгущаются краски

Искренне любят, но терпят фиаско

Что-то опять случилось в раю.

Стойку обнял оловянный солдатик

Он окружен, а точней оквадрачен,

Время платить и закончить войну.

Here is my "true to the song" translation:

Once again, the Fate is changing it's plans,
And what we have sown will be reaped,
What once was one is now different.
The links in this long chain are locking in,
Each call is like an element of a crime,
I am being seized by Jerusalem

Chorus:
Steady, now,
The Captain of my loose soul,
This city is strangely full of sounds
Of un-air raid alerts.
Do not hurry to live to the fullest,
Do not surrender, do not sell yourself short.
Flare up and fall into the night
The an-air raid alerts.

The prospects are rapidly darkening.
Loving truly, but suffering a full fiasco.
Something has happened again in the heavens!
The Steady Tin Soldier is hugging the bar,
He is surrounded, or more like sur-squared.
It is time to pay up and finish this war.


Chorus:
Steady, now,
The Captain of my loose soul,
This city is strangely full of sounds
Of un-air raid alerts.
Do not hurry to live to the fullest,
Do not surrender, do not sell yourself short.
Flare up and fall into the night
The an-air raid alerts.



I made some adjustments to the original text to make it understandable to English audience. I could not find fitting translations for "C неба вернулся брошенный камень" and "В этой картине сгущаются краски". My hubby is telling me that there are no parallel proverbs / saying in English. Also, the reference to the Tin Soldier required a bit of research on Wikipedia!

I cannot wait to start working on the "rhyming" version, I loooove this song and have it playing over and over again, it is such a soothing melody (to me). But, it is almost 2 am. I think I better let it go for the night.

P.S. I need to locate someone who can  speak Hebrew and tell me how to pronounce the name "Jerusalem" properly. Since Jerusalem does not have any natural or easy rhymes in English, I may just as well "go Hebrew" and see whether any words will rhyme with the original pronunciation.

Ветром Стать / To become the wind - Practicing

I am trying to practice my "To become the Wind," and it is a hard song to sing, I am out of my breath constantly, especially in the last part of the chorus. I need to shorten the sentence length further if I want to be able to sing it comfortably....

I am thinking about leaving everything like it is for a couple of days, and trying it over and over again to see which specific sounds are causing the problems, and then try my hand at it again then.

Скажите, лебеди / Tell Me My Swans - Ready to go

I tried the song out, and, amazingly, it works very well. The only trouble are the words "swimming" and "country," which do not land themselves to an easy vocal stretch, but I am working on it.

My hubby listened to my version of the song yesterday, and said that the words were very hard to understand because of the long weave pattern. Other than that, he liked the song.

I am going to leave the lyrics unchanged for now and move on to some of the BI-2 songs before coming back to Russian folk songs.

Here is the final version of the lyrics.

Tell me, my swans, the snow-white ones,

Where have you been, what have you seen?

- We have been swimming near the seasides,

Our nests were weaving for our brides.

- Tell me, my swans, my dear friends,

What have you seen in our heartlands?

- A place where tall weeds cover the ground

Over the soldiers in a burial mound.

- Tell me, my swans, tell me, my brave,

Who has been mourning over that grave?

- Only the rains have shed the tears.

Soldiers who lay there are unknown heroes.

- Tell me, my swans, tell me, my sweet,

Where is that place? How can we find it?

- Just love your country as much as did they.

Your hearts will show you the shortest way.

- Thank you, my swans, the snow-white ones.

Ветром Стать - To become the wind - REVISION #2

I tried singing my latest revision, but the lengths of some sentences make it hard to match the beat. I am taking a break from my GRE studies, so it is a perfect time to clean up some of the lines.

Here is the latest version so far. Closer to the beat.

When I die, I will become the Wind

And live right near you in a tree

And when you die, you will be the Sun

And, once again, you will rise above me.

Like Autumn wind, I will be near,

Fall at your feet, like morning dew

When I whisper, can you hear?

"My Sun, where are you? My Sun, where are you?"

Chorus:

But don't hurry yet to become the Sun

I will sing songs to you until dawn,

With the very air I will be one,
As soon as I am the Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes off your face,

Your shiny smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

As soon as I am the Wind.

When I die, I will become the Breeze,

Fall on the ground like the snow.

I will touch your lovely face with ease,

You'll be my only joy, you know?

And when you die, you will be the Sun

And melt my snows like my fears

And when the flowers spring on the lawns

My icicles will turn into tears.

Chorus:

But don't hurry yet to become the Sun

I will sing songs to you until dawn,

With the very air I will be one,
As soon as I am the Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes off your face,

Your shiny smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

As soon as I am the Wind.

But don't hurry yet to become the Sun

I will sing songs to you until dawn,

With the very air I will be one,
As soon as I am the Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes off your face,

Your shiny smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

As soon as I am the Wind.

Ветром Стать - To become the wind - REVISION #1

I have to crop a few lines, for them to fit into the beat. Here are my revisions # 2 through #15 or so....

Hey, when I die, I will become the Wind

And live right near you in a tree

And when you die, you will become the Sun

And, once again, you will rise above me.

Like Autumn wind, I will be near,

Fall at your feel, like morning dew

Can you hear? I whisper in your ear:

"My Sun, where are you? My Sun, where are you?"

Chorus:

But no, don't hurry yet to become the Sun

Listen - I will sing to you until dawn,

With the air you brease I will be one,
And now I will be your Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes from your face,

Your precious smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

And now I will be your Wind.

Hey, when I die, I will become the Breeze,

Fall on the ground like the snow.

I will kiss your pretty face with ease,

You'll be my only joy, you know?

And when you die, you will become the Sun

And melt my snows like my fears

And when the flowers spring on the lawns

My icicles will turn into tears.

Chorus:

But no, don't hurry yet to become the Sun

Listen - I will sing to you until dawn,

With the air you brease I will be one,
And now I will be your Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes from your face,

Your precious smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

And now I will be your Wind.

But no, don't hurry yet to become the Sun

Listen - I will sing to you until dawn,

With the air you brease I will be one,
And now I will be your Wind.

I will blow the snowflakes from your face,

Your precious smiles I will chase,

Carry your songs above the lakes..

And now I will be your Wind.

Whew. Much better. But still not perfect. Never perfect enough!

No Angels - tried again

I found just the guitar beat on MusicCo. Very happy about that, since the old минусовка left too much of the original vocals in the chorus section, it was totally overpowering my own voice.

I practiced with this new version a few times, and found that I speak too slowly. The beat goes a bit faster than I can pronounce the words. That is probably because I am trying to articulate every sound in each word the best I can, to compensate for my accent. So, I either need to increase the speed and let my accent be what it is, or retain the slow speed and just continue with the new speed....

But we are no angels - revised

I revised the lyrics a bit to better fit the beat.

You plunge into the night

As you dreamed through the day,

Bounding your soul tight,

Throwing the masks away.

There is blood on your face

Tell them it is just some lip gloss.

Words fail to make a phrase,

But angels don't need no words.

Chorus:

But we are no angels, by far,

No, we are no angels,

Dark beasts we are,

And we carry the rage in us.

If we were asked what are we longing for,

Then we want to soar, yes, we want to soar.

But we are no angels, by far,

No, we are no angels,

Lost our ranks and stars in so many hells,

Being neither trusted nor loved no more.

People esteem just those wings that we wore before.

We are no angels.

Where do you belong?

Over how many roofs you flew?

In a slumber for too long -

Too long for a beast like you.

Maybe it's time to fall down?

Down where your eyes glow bright?

Drop your white robes and crown.

Beast - they don't wear white.

Chorus:

But we are no angels, by far,

No, we are no angels,

Dark beasts we are,

And we carry the rage in us.

If we were asked what are we longing for,

Then we want to soar, yes, we want to soar.

But we are no angels, by far,

No, we are no angels,

Lost our ranks and stars in so many hells,

Being neither trusted nor loved no more.

People esteem just those wings that we wore before.

We are no angels.

We are no angels, nooo!

I just tried recording this version with my own voice over the recording. It was not too bad for a first try. The KaraokeMaster was not too bad for the first two tries, but then I think I screwed something up and now I can't reduce the original vocals. Will try to shut it down and restart it again, to see if that might help.

Just downloaded Audacity on the desktop, and tried reducing the vocals there... No such luck, KaraokeMaster actually did a better job...

Just found http://fonogramm.net/. The file there has the original vocals only in the chorus section. Better than nothing, I guess, and it is especially good for practicing singing on my own. Right now I am having a heard time identifying the beat where the vocals are supposed to start, it is a bit counter-intuitive in this song.

"Скажите, лебеди" / "Tell me, my swans" - Video, translation

This is one of my favorite songs, and I am glad I finally got to translate it. It has everything: great Soviet-era-type-of orchestra, sad memories of fallen soldiers, and some native Russian vocal inflections.

This version of the song is much more "folk," and I suspect that this is the original version.

Here is my "true-to-the-original-text" translation:


- Tell me, swans, tell me, my white birds,
 And where have you been swimming, where have you been?
- We swam into the sea toward the boats,
And we built nests for our swan mates.

- Tell me, swans, my good friends,
And what have you seen in the wild steppe?
- We have seen a burial mound and tall wild artemesias,
A mass grave for soldiers, a solemn grave

- Tell me, swans, tell me, my dear,
And who was pouring tears over that grave?
- People never cried over it, only the foggy rains did.
The soldiers who lay there are all unknown soldiers

- Tell me, swans, my proud birds,
Where are those heroic soldiers buried?
-  Keep in your heart undying love of your country
And your heart will show you the shortest way

- Thank you, swans! Fly away, my white birds.


Here is Draft 1 of my Americanized translation:


- Tell me, my swans, my beautiful ones,

Where have you been, what have you seen?

- We have been swimming near the seasides,

Wieving our nests with our beautiful brides.

- Tell me, my swans, tell me, my friends,

What have you seen in our heartlands?

- A place where tall weeds cover the ground

Over great many soldiers in a burial mound.

- Tell me, my swans, tell me, my brave,

Who has been mourning over that grave?

- Only the rains have shed their tears,

For soldiers who lay there are all unknown heros.

- Tell me, my swans, tell me, my sweet,

Where is that place? Where can we find it?

- Just love your country as much as did they;

Your heart will show you the shortest way.

- Thank you, my swans, my beautiful ones. 

I just tried to sing my translation, and it sounds horrible! :) English words have fewer syllables, so they do not stretch as nicely. The word "swan" is much, much harder to stretch out than the word "lie-bie-dee".

So, after trying it out a couple of times, I am cleaning up some sentences, to give the words more room to stretch:

 Here is Draft 2 of my Americanized version:

Tell me, my swans, the snow-white ones,

Where have you been, what have you seen?

- We have been swimming near the seasides,

Our nests we were weiving for our brides.

- Tell me, my swans, my dear friends,

What have you seen in our heartlands?

- A place where tall weeds cover the ground

Over the soldiers in a burial mound.

- Tell me, my swans, tell me, my brave,

Who has been mourning over that grave?

- Only the rains have shed the tears.

Soldiers who lay there are unknown heroes.

- Tell me, my swans, tell me, my sweet,

Where is that place? Where can we find it?

- Just love your country as much as did they.

Your heart will show you the shortest way.

- Thank you, my swans, the snow-white ones. 

Alex Ponomarev "А мы не ангелы, парень" / Alex Ponomarev: "But we are no angels" - Video, translations

This is a song that I have been dying to translate since I first heard it. The harsh lyrics of the song really made a lasting impression on me.

 

The more popular BI-2/AK/Lumen version is shorter by one куплет, and this is the one I will be using for my translation for now. The thirds куплет is too strange in it's meaning for me.

This is my own "true-to-the-song" translation:

You were discovering the night,

All in it that you could afford,

Tearing off the masks,

Keeping your soul bound.

There is blood on your cheek,

Which you will claim to be a lipstick,

Fuck the maze of words,

Angels don't need no words.

But we are no angel, boy,

We are no angels,

We are dark beasts,

And our screws are lose,

And if you would ask us what do we want,

We would soar, yes, we would soar.

But we are no angels, boy,

No, we are no angels,

There in the fires

We have lost our stripes,

Those of our kind are neither loved, nor trusted

People trust only those who have the feathers.

Hundreds of sleepy roofs

What were you looking there for, boy?

You have been in a slumber for too long,

Too long for a beast like yourself.

Isn't it time to go down,

Down, where you breathe with your body?

Loose your clean sheet,

Beasts don't wear white.

This song was kind of tough to master because I was not always sure what the author was trying to say in the first place. Also, the laconic phrases (and the corresponding beats) left very little wiggle room. English sentences demand presence of certain structures that Russian sentences do not, so I also had to find a way around the long English structures. 

Draft 1 of my "Americanized" version:

You plunged into the night

As you dreamed through the day,

Bounding your soul tight,

Throwing the masks away.

There is blood on your face

Tell them it is just lipgloss

Words won't knit the lace of phrase

But angels don't need no words.

Chorus:

But we are no angels, by far,

No, we are no angels,

Dark beasts that we are,

And we burn no candles,

And if you were to ask us what we were longing for,

Then we want to soar, yes, we would want to soar.
But we are no angels, by far,

No, we are no angels,

Having lost our stripes and stars

In the fires of many hells,

We are being neither trusted nor loved no more.

People want to see just the wings that we wore before.

Where do you belong?
Over how many roofs you flew?

In a slumber for too long - 

Too long for a beast like you.

Isn't it is time to fall down,

Down where your eyes glow bright?

Drop your white robes and crown.

Beast - they don't wear white.

There are some obvious sentence structure problems with a couple of the sentences, but I will leave everything like it is now and go drink some more milk and honey and watch another round of LOTR. :)

Milk and Honey time

I just came back from another 2-months-long trip to Russia, and I caught some terrible virus on my plane back to the US. The darn thing knocked me off my feet for 4 straight days, and I am still recovering. One of the side effects I have been fighting is cough, accompanies by loss of voice. I sound like Darth Vader or worse.

So, of course, staying in bed is the best time for staring new hobbies. So, here I am. I just went and bought myself a Karaoke Master from Microcenter near my house. My husband graciously agreed to pay for it.

Can't wait to try my hand as de-voicing a few songs and seeing how good the software is. Also, the software box promises a few singing lessons (hearing intervals, chords, rhythms), which I of course need to be able to sing in the first place. So,,,,,,,,, now just waiting on my cold or flue or whatever this thing is to let go of me, so I could be off to another misadventure.

МакСим "Ветром Стать" / MakSim "To become the wind" - Draft 1 translation

This is the second Russian song I attempted to translate. It is one of my recent favorites.

I did not care for this official video clip. And the video's translation was so-so.

My true-to-the-song translation:

When I die, I will become the Wind

And live on the roof of your home.

When you die, you will become the Sun

And you will rise above me, once again

Like an Autumn breeze, I will fly

With you wherever you go

You won't hear it when I whisper quietly

"My Sun, where are you?" 

Chorus:

But please don't be the Sun quiet yet, you hear me?

I will sing you my songs from your roof

I will become that what you breathe once again - 

All that is left is for me to become the Wind

I will wait just for your smiles

I will listen only to your CDs

I will blow snowflakes from your eyelashes -

All that is left is for me to become the Wind

When I die, I will become the Wind,

Falling on the ground with the snow,

I will laugh, flying next to you wherever you go

And I will be the happiest in this world

When you die, you will become the Sun

And you will melt my frosts,

And mimosas will blossom in the orchards,

And the icicles in my heart will turn to tears.

Draft 1 of my "Americanized" translation

Hey, when I die, I will become the Wind

And live right near you in a tree

And when you die, you will become the Sun

And, once again, you will rise above me.

Like Autumn wind, I will be always near

Fall at your feel, like morning dew

Can you hear? I whisper gently in your ear:

"My Sun, where are you? My Sun, where are you?"

Chorus:

But please, don't hurry yet to become my Sun

Listen, I will sings songs to you until dawn,

Fell, with the air you breath I will be one,

Now all that's left is to become the Wind.

From your eyelashes I will blow the snowflakes,

Dance to the sounds that your heart makes,

Carry your songs above the woods and lakes..

Now all that is left is to become the Wind.

Hey, when I die, I will become the Breeze,

And fall on the ground with the snow.

I will kiss your lips, your face with ease,

You will be my only joy, you know?

When you die, you will become the Sun

And melt my snows like my fears

And when first flowers spring on your lawn

The icicles in my heart will turn to tears.

Chorus:

But please, don't hurry yet to become my Sun

Listen, I will sings songs to you until dawn,

Fell, with the air you breath I will be one,

Now all that's left is to become the Wind.

From your eyelashes I will blow the snowflakes,

Dance to the sounds that your heart makes,

Carry your songs above the woods and lakes..

Now all that is left is to become the Wind.

 I will need to adjust the translation to fit the rhythm of the song better, but I will wait to do it once my throat is better and I can actually try to sing my translated version.

Another day, another blog

Not very creative of me, but hey....