Полковнику никто не пишет (Би-2) / No One Writes to the Colonel (BI-2)

This song has been bugging me for a long time. It is so dark and sad, but mesmerizing in a strange sort of way.

The structure of the song is difficult because of it's simplicity. Most sentences have 2-4 words in them (in their original language), and the sentences don't really connect with one another grammatically. Images come through mangled and incomplete, but very intense. I am trying to replicate the same feeling in English if I can.

No one writes to the Colonel (lyrics and vocals - Russian rock band BI-2;  clip from the movie Brother-2 (Брат-2))

The original in Russian:


Большие города,
Пустые поезда,
Ни берега, ни дна
Всё начинать сначала.
Холодная война
И время, как вода,
Он не сошёл с ума,
Ты ничего не знала...

Полковнику никто
Не пишет,
Полковника никто
Не ждёт...

На линии огня
Пустые города,
В которых никогда
Ты раньше не бывала.
И рвутся поезда
На тонкие слова,
Он не сошёл с ума,
Ты ничего не знала...

Полковнику никто
Не пишет,
Полковника никто
Не ждёт...


The word-for-word translation:


Large cities,
Empty trains,
Neither shore, nor water
All needs to be started over
The Cold War
And the time is like water
He didn't loose your mind,
She didn't know anything.


No one writes 
To the Colonel,
No one waits 
For the Colonel.

In the line of fire
Are the empty cities
In which you have never
Been before
And the trains are ripping through 
Like thin words
He didn't lose his mind
She didn't know anything

No one writes 
To the Colonel,
No one waits 
For the Colonel.




First draft of my version:

The sprawling city veins,
Unlit and empty trains,
Not start and not the end,
Not water, not the land.
The steps of this cold war,
The beauty and the gore,
All things she didn't know,
Oh, where did it go?

No one writes to the Colonel
No  one waits for the Colonel


The cross-hairs of his eyes
Are on the burning skies
Above the empty screen
Of worlds she's never seen.
Exploding silver trains
Collapsing city veins,
All things she didn't know,
Oh, where did it go?

No one writes to the Colonel
No  one waits for the Colonel

Королевна (Мельница) / Queen (Melnitsa) - my version, 2nd draft

Here is my latest drafts of the song - with very minor changes, mainly in verse 7.

1)

I sang about battles, wars, and pride,

I sang about glory and despair.

But while my falcon was by my side

It's cries rang to me like a prayer.

2)

But it flew away a year ago -

The pain of the heart that I have not known.
Was taken from me the dearest friend

By a magic wind of a far away land.

3)

The cold waves beat the tired shore

And dance, and dance the rays of sun

But I am only looking for

The eyes the shade of a gentian.

4)

If I could have the eyes of a falcon,

If I could only fly, like a falcon,

Toward the distant falcon land

To which it has gone from my hand.

5)

Make me faster than the light,

Turn into my soul, my bird,

Every night I dream of a flight,

The troubled skies over the fjords.

6)

Silk adorns your sleeves, my queen,

Sun adorns the hills with glow

In the land where I have never been,

Or if I have, then just to find my sorrow.

7)

I want to know all that was

Not for you and not for me.

Useless like a shattered glass,

I tumble like a fallen leaf.

8)

Like others have paid for my song with gold,

You pay with coins of your full moon.

In the dreamy land of ancient colds

You are warmer than May, you are warmer than May, you are warmer than May, sweeter than June...

9)

Open your eyes, lovely queen,

Rise, awaken from your dream.

Let's fly into stormy skies,

Thunder rolls your shrieking cries.

10)

Silk adorns your sleeves, my queen,

Gold adorns your velvet feathers,

And I laugh in my dream

Where we soar and fall together.

11)

Come and step into my sight,

Young queen of the falconkind,

Your eyes I see every night,

And every morning I wake up blind.

12)

Silk adorns your sleeves, my queen,

Strands of moon adorn the rain,

Carry me away, northern wind,

To that land of dreams and pain

13)

It hurts to know all that was

Not for you and not for me.

Time has come, and time has passed,

But my heart cannot go free.

14)

My dreams of you are sweet like wine,

But the land of falcons is not my own,

And I will sing for you one more time

But I will leave, but I will leave, but I will leave at the break of dawn.

15)

Fragile are your frozen dreams, my queen,

When will spring bring forth ancient greens?

One last time for me to sing,

One last time to touch your wings..

Open your eyes, lovely queen,

Rise, awaken from your dream...

16)

Don't I know all that was

Not for you and not for me?

And cuts deep into my eyes

Shadow darker than the sea.

17)

Like others have paid for my song with gold,

You pay with full moon.

I'd follow you to the edge of the world,

But do you exist, except in my runes?

Like others have paid with gold,

You pay with full moon.

I'd follow you to the edge of the world,

But do you exist, but do you exist, but do you exist, except in my runes?